My old friend, I have been thinking about you

I hear you have let yourself go a little

but I guess we all have to face change

and our mortality

I have aged as well

It has been a bittersweet journey

I remember what a good liar you

used to be

When I first introduced myself to you

You told me the world wasn’t scary anymore

that life was worth living

I felt a warmth and calmness

spread over my entire body

my mind was able to take a rest

no need to watch

no need to critique

no need to fear

just let the warmth spread

through my body as if it is

the love I have always seemed

to miss, give me a reason

give me a season, help me put the blinders on

but the reality is I woke 25 years later

reality hit me like a punch in my face

and soul

I have recently faced a traumatic

life changing experience and felt so alone

so alone that I almost searched for you


Can you save me?

make the pain stop?

your company, your lie

I wanted to be comfortably numb

again but that is no longer an option

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