I want to fall into a deep sleep
like my cat that looks totally carefree
as he yawns and stretches his paws
I have never felt comfortable or relaxed
without the help of drugs and other band-aids
but when that band-aid gets ripped off
so does the scab and now my wound is open again
Is it me? is it them?
Is it my fault? Is it theirs?
Why does life feel so heavy?
To be honest, the only thing that
has kept me from taking myself out
is the fear of being punished in a
possible afterlife? No…
no more suffering
So I here I lay
watching NOTEBOOK
and crying like an emotional child
The love that they shared was
so moving and I want to know
what that feels like
but that was a movie
and I am scared to care
about anything
because everything is temporary
and hopefully so is this
baggage I carry
