I want to fall into a deep sleep

like my cat that looks totally carefree

as he yawns and stretches his paws

I have never felt comfortable or relaxed

without the help of drugs and other band-aids

but when that band-aid gets ripped off

so does the scab and now my wound is open again

Is it me? is it them?

Is it my fault? Is it theirs?

Why does life feel so heavy?

To be honest, the only thing that

has kept me from taking myself out

is the fear of being punished in a

possible afterlife? No…

no more suffering

So I here I lay

watching NOTEBOOK

and crying like an emotional child

The love that they shared was

so moving and I want to know

what that feels like

but that was a movie

and I am scared to care

about anything

because everything is temporary

and hopefully so is this

baggage I carry


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