FLOATING

 

Floating on the water

looking up at the sky

not sure if I want to find land

or just get it over with

and die

the darkness beneath me

makes me cringe

not knowing what is lurking

in the depts of a dark sea

I look at the sky and ask

the Powers that (might) be

Please don’t let it hurt too much

I have hurt enough already

I am not afraid to die

I am just afraid of more suffering

I hope there is a better place

where we can feel past loved one’s presence

and the fear, shame, anger, and blame are gone

The fear of the dark sea under me scared me

because of the vast unknown

but the reality is the sky was

just as mysterious…

I am tired of this test, I will not kill

myself because I will be damned

if I will be punished again in the afterlife

but if it is my time to go…please

don’t make it too painful, I cant take anymore