TOXIC (LOVE?)

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Unconditional love is hard to define

Dos it mean (Ride or Die) ?

Does it mean that you love someone enough to

LET THEM GO?

and wish them the best?

I was very used to growing

up with CONDITIONAL LOVE

in a drop of a hat

I could be moved, thrown out

or emotionally and physically abused

depending on my guardians wacko

moods and behavior…

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

because I felt now that I am in charge

and proved my loyalty and feelings

with people pleasing and enabling

what could possibly go wrong??

I had no clue what a healthy relationship

looked like or felt like

I would go from hot to cold

because when I felt violated or betrayed

I would become a Psycho…

I didn’t know how to separate because

I needed someone to be my other half

(Codependency)  where relationships

are more like hostages …I am scared to try

relationships again because I am doing so well

BY MYSELF but  I can’t isolate forever

 

 

 

3 comments

  1. what’s written in your memory decides how you feel and see the world. You will never change the world without changing what’s written in your memory, and that you can change.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is scary to open your heart and feelings when you are doing well minus emotional/ intimacy/companionship etc but I am doing good so….should I care about what seems so hard to contain?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You choose what you find the best for yourself🙂but reopening of our hearts seems to be a greatest yearning 🙂

        Like

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