My long hallway extended for what seemed an endless journey,
with doors and lights in unison ahead of me
It was a safe building for the most part
The tenants owned their apartments tended to
look down their nose at me but this was different
There are two different types of fear, being accepted or judged
or being violated ,”emotionally and physically”
One is a fear of unworthiness and invisibility
The other is a sense of fear for your life
because you have been spotted and the enemy is near
This felt like psychological torture
I knew the routine,I actually dreaded this walk
the light played tricks on the wall
Like it was toying with me
seeing your shadow dance and separate on the wall
like lighting it would separate and engulf you in an instant
like you had someone walking behind you
Don’t look I would tell myself, it is only your shadow
but the need to watch the movement of the wall
seemed to scream to me and say,”Watch out, if you dont
it’s going to get you” so I watched the silhouette like
it was a job that I hated to do…
Why did my shadow feel like such a threat?