I used to cut myself, then I chewed the inside of my mouth
mouth like it was a sandwich,I bit my nails and then
I evolved to masturbation…
No I wasn’t horny, I didn’t even know about sex yet
but I had to change the way I felt
any altered state would do
I became empowered in my teens
I learned to break things and vandalize
I became a prankster with the aid of my friends
we stole a giant Xmas tree out of lobby
just to throw it through a window
We mooned the windows of a 5-star restaurant
Just to make them as uncomfortable as me
How dare people have a happy family?
how dare people have a happy home?
while mine felt so unstable…The
inner awkwardness led to a sub culture
The anger led to a counter-culture
The fear led me to drugs
They say that misery can lead to creativity
So I am finding new ways to deal with anxiety
such as cutting my own hair, painting my own house
and Doodling….it is a way to cope and I like it.
Doodling is very therapeutic..It has helped me a lot in my lowest moments..Thanks for sharing!
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I really enjoyed reading this. The doodle is very nice too. I use to doodle a lot at work to get through the day.
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For me, writing is becoming my way of coping….and sharing (not an easy thing to do for me normally) but sometimes you gotta throw the baby out with the bathwater….here we are again, with the dirty water references 🙂 xo H.
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lol
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