I met a young woman in Rikers Island (correctional facility) that at first I did not want to know, she was scarred in various places such as her body and face but always seemed to be smiling so I assumed she was a psycho and was trouble. One day one of my (Friends?) associates brought her over to our table so I asked her what happened to her face and she said her “Sugar daddy” had given her thirty dollars to get her nails done and she had spent it on drugs so she was embarrassed to tell him so she asked her friend to cut her face so she could pretend she got robbed for it. I was dumb struck because I could tell this female had diss association from her body which led me to believe she had been through hell .This was a major cut on her face so I asked her,” Your friend had no problem doing that?” and she said that it was easy so I asked her if she regretted it now and she said she liked it because she thought it looked cool and for some reason I got a surreal moment because I knew where this was going. I asked her what happened to her chest and she replied that she had been stabbed over three dollars in the Bronx and had open heart surgery. I asked her “how did it feel to almost die over three dollars”? and she was still smiling telling me how cool it was because the police had bought her Burger King and were real nice to her talking to her all night. This might sound ludicrous to most and although my examples were not as extreme I knew what it felt like to feel invisible and settle for negative attention. The fact that she got stabbed was irrelevant to the fact that someone was nice to her and she didn’t have to do anything to get it..people in general that have no healthy examples growing up or learning healthy boundaries adopt their own adaptation to life. that was a crossroad in my life because I saw someone half my age that I judged and now I saw that I had to grow up and be a role model to these younger women that had no direction.

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