It is Not REAL, It’s​ just a PAINTING

My awkwardness made me feel so conspicuous

Even crossing the street in NYC felt like a feat

My body would get stuck and sometimes

freezes up when I cannot process the signals

and don’t know whether to stop or move fast

I remember when I was an adventurer

A bike messenger that held on to the side of a truck to hitch a ride

I used to chase danger, distractions ,and surprises

Now I feel like a meat suit of nerves bouncing off each other

I work in Social Services such as Outreach and Counseling which

can be so rewarding and purposeful and in helping others it

helps heal your own soul but this is not a fairytale so

my demons still show up and when they are working overtime and

I have to get from point A to point B and hope there are not too many

obstacles and stressors, my flight or fight response is always overloaded

so when I see a possible disturbance in my path I tell myself

Its not real, it is just a picture

It can’t hurt you

Its just a painting