My awkwardness made me feel so conspicuous
Even crossing the street in NYC felt like a feat
My body would get stuck and sometimes
freezes up when I cannot process the signals
and don’t know whether to stop or move fast
I remember when I was an adventurer
A bike messenger that held on to the side of a truck to hitch a ride
I used to chase danger, distractions ,and surprises
Now I feel like a meat suit of nerves bouncing off each other
I work in Social Services such as Outreach and Counseling which
can be so rewarding and purposeful and in helping others it
helps heal your own soul but this is not a fairytale so
my demons still show up and when they are working overtime and
I have to get from point A to point B and hope there are not too many
obstacles and stressors, my flight or fight response is always overloaded
so when I see a possible disturbance in my path I tell myself
Its not real, it is just a picture
It can’t hurt you
Its just a painting
