TWISTED THOUGHTS

I see a child on the train

instead of smiling and embracing her youth

I pity her and her fragility

I pity her future

In a world of Monsters

I stare at the child and try to understand

why an adult would want to take their innocence

It doesn’t make sense

I walk along the park and see a dead animal

then I realize it is  just a plastic bag on the ground

Why am I seeing death and destruction?

Why can’t I see the joy?

I finally met someone that made me smile

It was the first person I had tried dating in years but

during our first sexual encounter, I saw him on top of

me  (Who is this?) all of a sudden I didn’t know

who he was and I didn’t like him…

I had a flashback and  he felt like a threat

I thrashed and told him I wasn’t scared of him

He looked at me like I was crazy and asked me to go

So I  left without a word

because there was no way to explain

the heaviness in my heart

and the burden I bear

I continue and keep moving forward

hoping the pain and anxiety will fade

as I walk and look for

dead animals and future victims